Obliging: words in brief

I’ve lost interest in being obliging. There are seasons of yes, and seasons of no. I have lately been pledged to the latter. I have been experimenting with silence. Deep full-throated silence. Using my voice only if and when and how I want to. I have been experimenting with stillness. With absence. With stealth. With staying at the edges, lurking in the shadows, reclaiming the in-between. I once said goodbye to my sullen adolescent self.  Now I have welcomed her back to my table. I have thrilled in her uncooperative energy, her defiant intensity, her whims. She is a secret ally, reminding me of the epochs when I wanted to both please and resist. Now I please if I want to, resist if I choose to. I am reclaiming my time.

From my current writing practice with three women across the continent. Today is day 48. Word prompt: obliging.

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